Aloneness

There's nothing more lonely than having no one to call to share good news or challenges. I've always prided myself to be a strong person and able to deal with anything and withstand anything. But I realise that no amount of strength and confidence can break down feelings of loneliness. That I don't know who to call when your best friend is not home feeling.

Speed dating

So about a month ago I went on what can only be described as a speed dating adventure. So one of the New Year res was to get out more...do different things...create new experiences...so this was me trying to maintain at least one of the New Years plans nah...so here I venture in the wicked wild world of speed dating. So first of...there are 16 of us...8 guys and 8 girls and I am the only speck of color on an otherwise white plain...so the host welcomes us, gives us the how to some basic instructions and then sets us on our way. Everyone has a number and a scorecard...after each 'date' you make notes abt your interaction and you can also select yes no or maybe for possible future interaction. Ladies remain seated whilst the gentlemen move from one date to another. So as I said it's been a little over the month since the event so I'll try and remember as much of the experience as possible...so the first round of dates begin...all the gentlemen move eagerly to begin chatting with the ladies...except me...I sit at my table waiting and the last gentleman standing looks around apparently not seeing me...he turns to the host and says where do I go...she points to my booth and says there's a lady over there...his response "is tht all tht's left" me...without blinking an eye, tick "no" next to his number on my scorecard. He proceeds to amble over and sits down as though he's facing an executioner...trying to have a conversation was like trying to pull teeth from a dog...do you know how torturous it is to try and engage in conversation for 5 minutes for someone who clearly doesn't want to...eventually he picked up my accent and asked where I was from...I told him I was from Trinidad and he proceeded to spend the last 3 min of the date to talk about how much fun he used to have fishing in the Bahamas every summer with his father...next...enter restaurant owner who is tired of people selling food in Boston as Indian cuisine that is not real Indian cuisine so his solution was to open his own restaurant...in Argentina!!! Yes he lives 6 mths in Boston and 6 in Argentina...his ideal partner must be willing to do the same...then he asked about the accent...I answer Trinidad his reply...yes another place that does not sell "real" indian cuisine...mentally I have checked the no box and just going through the motions until he leaves...the next 5 men are a blur of hilarity, ridiculousness and "are you flipping kidding me" there was the one guy who was so nervous he didn't know what to say that he talked too much...he said "I've been to alot of speed dating events...never seen a black person here before...this is fascinating (I kid you not)...he continued wow I've never dated a black girl before, I wonder what that's like...my response...I don't know I've never dated a black girl before either. Then there was the psychologist who was trying to seduce me with some psycho babble and pseudo analysis...when I mentioned that this was my first time doing speed dating...his response...you should be proud of yourself for taking such a bold step and some other reaffirmation crap that he prob thought would move me...sorry pops I did a psych minor in undergrad...move one...there was weird european dude, tech dude who seems to have no hobbies and no life, then there was the one who as soon as he heard my accent wanted to guess where I was from...of course his first guess was Jamaica when I said no and I was about to tell him where I was from...he responded, no, no don't tell me, don't tell me...and then proceeded to spend the next 5 min guessing every island down the Caribbean chain...and he still ain't reach Trini yet...and when I eventually told him Trinidad when the bell rang to signal the end of the date, he looked at me and said is that in the Caribbean? Check no...The final verdict was a tall easy on the eyes gentleman. His first comment "I detect a Caribbean accent but I can't place it." I told him because I wasn't about to play no guessing game for another 5 minutes. Major points when he responded is that the Caribbean island nearest to Venezuela... more ratings when he said you all have one of the largest Carnival celebrations in the world. It didn't matter that I don't participate in Carnival the fact that he knew about my twin island republic...points. I must say that conversation flowed nicely and it felt really natural. I guess he was the saving grace after the yutz parade that went before. Finally the night was over, I grabbed a slice of the stale pizza and bounced. A few days later I entered my scores on the website online with my yesses, nos and maybes...surprise, surprise there was only one person who I said yes to who also said yes to me...there were a couple others who said yes to me but I said no to them...the mutual yes was...you guessed it...my last date. All in all it was an interesting experience...definitely provided enough fodder for my blog. Who knows if I'll ever do it again...we'll see.